Bitterness and resentment could be described as the smoldering, lingering embers of ongoing hostility. It's a feeling of injustice and if we were to call a spade a spade, we might venture to name it.....wait for it..... deep down hatred. Wow! That sounds so harsh! Perhaps it's easier to admit to a grievance, grudge or offense. Hatred? 'no'! Grudge? 'well maybe'.
We've all held grudges. They happen when two conditions are met. 1) something happens that we didn’t like. 2) we dwell on what happened that we didn’t like.
I like what Dr. Don Colbert says in his book ’Deadly Emotions’ . He says that grudges happen when we ‘rent out too much space in our heart for a particular hurt.’
The more we think things like,
“I don’t deserve to be treated like this”
“It isn’t fair”
“I am overworked and underpaid”
“This shouldn’t have happened”
“Nobody appreciates me”
“If only he hadn’t said that”
the bigger the grudge gets!
The antidote to bitterness and resentment is to rent out more heart space to love. Even to those that you may view as your enemies. Purposefully do something nice for that (nasty) person and definitely pray for them. You can’t honestly pray for someone while hating them. The truth is, we can't choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we respond.
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