You're Not At the Mercy of Your Emotions!

Emotions can be a wonderful part of life, allowing us the opportunity to live life to the fullest. A wedding would be dull without that tiny heartfelt tear trickling down the cheek. And the sheer joy of watching your child accomplish a great task makes the victory that much sweeter! Emotions have the potential to 'save the day' or........ to 'kill the moment'.

Some of our emotions about ourselves or our situation are purely toxic. They drain our lives of vitality and purpose, or rob us of the ability to truly appreciate ourselves, which ultimately limits our ability to love others.

When we detoxify, we take the necessary steps to remove poisons or eliminate the build-up of unwanted substances that prohibit healthy living. Sometimes we need to take an inventory of our heart, and detoxify it of harmful emotions. In my upcoming blogs I'd like to expose three potentially devastating toxic feelings and offer ways to rid them from your system.

The Contamination of Guilt and Shame
The Venom of Bitterness and Resentment
The Poison of Fear and Worry

You're not at the mercy of your emotions!



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Be The Bridge

We read in Hebrews 11:1 that faith is the substance of what we hope for. What exactly does that mean? Here's my take.

Place your hands and arms straight out from the sides of your body, palms up. On one hand you have the present reality of your situation. The good, the bad, the ugly. On the other hand you have what you are hoping for in your relationships, your finances and your health. This second hand represents the dreams and purposes of God for your life.

What stands in the middle, between your present situation and your future hopes, is you! Your faith in God's promises becomes the bridge between what you are currently experiencing and where you (and God) would rather you were. As you read, listen to and hear the truth of what God thinks about you, your faith increases. Keep believing that your appropriate actions and attitudes will produce the rewards they should. Keep hoping that what you see is not the end of your story. Keep trusting that as you do the possible, God will do the impossible. Be the bridge.


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Rain, Rain Go Away

Several years ago, my husband and I went through a particularly rainy season in our marriage. Perhaps the word ‘stormy’ or the words ‘torrential hurricane-like downpours’ would be a more accurate way of describing it.

During one particularly nasty deluge, my anger swirled like tornado. The screaming, door slamming and throwing of household objects frightened my daughter so much that she called the police. That moment broke the dam of my heart. The turbulent heavy rain finally cracked through the hardened condition of my soul. What was I doing? How had it come to this? My sobs of brokenness washed away the years of build up and frustration. The soil of my heart was changing.

I went to my office to ask God for the secret of changing my husband. I took my bible and flopped it open. I closed my eyes and randomly pointed to some scripture on some random page. Even though I don’t recommend this type of bible study, in my sodden state, these seeds from Proverbs 25:28 were sown into the soil of my heart.

“Whoever has no rule over his own spirit, is like a broken down city, without walls.”

Shockingly, those words seemed directed at me. Was I contributing to the damp days of my relationship? Were my own actions and attitudes stirring the relational tempest?

Looking closer, this verse seemed to indicate that it was possible to control my anger. And in not doing so, I was allowing everything that was important to me to be unprotected and vulnerable. My family was at risk because of my lack of self-control.

Then, I was reminded of the life of the Apostle Paul. Even though ship wrecked, beaten, rejected and thrown into prison, he managed to keep his cool. He faced certain storms, yet his actions remained honorable.

Let me wind down this rainy day tale. Through my personal storm, the crustiness of my heart was softened as I chose to cultivate new thoughts towards my relationship. My stagnant attitude was eventually washed away with fresh thinking. Amazingly, our typical patterns of escalation stopped. Over and over, like the seasons of rain changes the demographic of the landscape, so over time the backdrop of our marriage was re-designed.

Yes, there are legitimate days we wish the rain would ‘go away and come again another day’. I certainly never wanted to have a ‘domestic’ but years after that storm has come and gone, there has been plenty of life and growth. I’m thankful and when I see thunderclouds on the horizon, I hunker down and cautiously say ‘let it rain’.

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Taking the Limits Off Love!

(An excerpt from Say I Do Body, Soul, Spirit)

There are days that I just don’t understand how God could think the way He does. That’s because my natural mind is very limited to what I have been taught or have personally experienced. However, when I choose to Say I Do with my spirit, I am choosing to live life beyond the confines of my natural understanding. My behaviour takes its cues, not from any negative life experiences or untrustworthy emotions, but from my spiritual values. In doing so, the thoughts of God take precedent over my thoughts.

When we agree with the thoughts of God, the natural limits come off. That’s because God’s thoughts are so much higher than our own. He sees the big picture that we are only experiencing from our tiny understanding. We are no longer disabled by our limited viewpoint, but we are enabled by God’s unlimited perspective. Let me say that again. When we choose to align our married lives by God’s perspective, we are choosing to Say I Do with our spirit. When that happens, we are no longer disabled by our limited viewpoint, but we are enabled by God’s unlimited perspective! And that’s how to take the limits off love!

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The Grinch Who Stole Marriage

Since I have presented the 'Say I Do' workshop numerous times in various settings, I naively thought it would be easy to put into a couples study. Not true. The problem is as a result of my heart! Something incredible has happened inside me in the last several months. Like the Grinch Who Stole Christmas, it feels like my heart has grown three sizes a day! It’s pounding with hope and full of desire to see you experience the best that marriage can offer. I could hardly choose what to include in the teachings. I want to assure you that you don’t have to continue to experience pain when you think of your marriage, or fear that you’ll never have the love you once dreamt about. With my whole heart.... I’ve attempted to capture some great counseling therapies, biblical truths and personal insights on how to find more love in your marriage.

When we choose to Say I Do Body, Soul, Spirit, we choose to align our lives with what God would have us do. That requires an understanding of God’s will for our marriage and a commitment to be the person we need to be. I pray you will rise to the challenge! I pray that faith and courage will come alive in your heart so you can Say I Do Body, Soul, Spirit. When that happens, perhaps your heart for your marriage will grow three sizes a day!

Say I Do Body, Soul, Spirit is now available as a couple's study. Visit the Resources page on my website to purchase!

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Happiness Sneaks in Through a Door ......

I love the saying "Happiness sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.' In other words, we may not realize the impact our right actions and attitudes of today can have on our tomorrow! Make the right choice!

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