Marriages thrive when partners decide to make it a priority to do the things that create hope for the other.
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Sunday, April 12, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
An Unthinking Attachment to the Status Quo
Change has become a predictable friend in my life. During the first 14 years of my marriage, we lived in 8 different cities on three continents. When we moved to South Western Ontario in 1998, I thought life would settle down. Of course, that didn’t happen. While my location has remained constant, my relationships, parenting responsibilities, level of education, employment status etc. etc. has been in a constant state of flux, forcing even deeper changes, ......like the way I think about change.
Most often we resist change because it makes us feel like we've lost control. Change has a way of disrupting the familiar and comfortable, and can challenge our long held beliefs and assumptions about life. We don’t like that.
I’ve learned that resisting change can be very unhealthy. If we deny the truth of our changed situation or try to run from it, conflict and stress increase. Come to think about it, we usually resist change simply because we have an unthinking attachment to the status quo. Yup, an unthinking attachment to the status quo. (That means, we do what everyone else is doing, just because that's what everyone else is doing.)
Like a true friend, however, change challenges us to think. It causes us to evaluate what we’ve been doing and why. It often demands that we envision a new future for ourselves, recognizing the fears and barriers that limit forward movement. Change challenges us to pursue new goals and creatively conceive of ways to accomplish them. Above all, change compels us to trust God in ways beyond our previous experience of Him.
If we embrace this friend called change, (with all it's discomfort) we have welcomed the risk of becoming more than who we presently are.
Back to elaineolson.org
Most often we resist change because it makes us feel like we've lost control. Change has a way of disrupting the familiar and comfortable, and can challenge our long held beliefs and assumptions about life. We don’t like that.
I’ve learned that resisting change can be very unhealthy. If we deny the truth of our changed situation or try to run from it, conflict and stress increase. Come to think about it, we usually resist change simply because we have an unthinking attachment to the status quo. Yup, an unthinking attachment to the status quo. (That means, we do what everyone else is doing, just because that's what everyone else is doing.)
Like a true friend, however, change challenges us to think. It causes us to evaluate what we’ve been doing and why. It often demands that we envision a new future for ourselves, recognizing the fears and barriers that limit forward movement. Change challenges us to pursue new goals and creatively conceive of ways to accomplish them. Above all, change compels us to trust God in ways beyond our previous experience of Him.
If we embrace this friend called change, (with all it's discomfort) we have welcomed the risk of becoming more than who we presently are.
Back to elaineolson.org
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
The Poison of Fear and Worry
Mark Twain once said ‘I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.’
Worry and fear act like a poisonous substance in our bodies, producing stress. The more we worry or fear about our children, our finances, our health, our relationships, the laundry piling up, what to wear etc. etc. etc. the more fatigued our stress hormones become. These same stress hormones that were created in us to get us mobile in cases of emergency, now begin to work against us, leaving us depressed, anxious or angry.
My short answer to worry and fear is to practice daily mindfulness. Stay focused on what you can do today. Make the most of the 86,400 seconds you have available right here, right now. That means essentially two things. One, decide what is important, what your priorities and responsibilities are for today and make them happen. Two, while you are doing what you need to do today, take time to notice what you enjoy about it. Be mindful to really live and enjoy the present moments. When we live in the beauty and wonder of what God has provided for us today, worry and fear subsides causing our bodies to de-stress naturally.
Jesus said it this way, 'Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about it's own things'.
I hope you enjoy your day!
Back to elaineolson.org
Worry and fear act like a poisonous substance in our bodies, producing stress. The more we worry or fear about our children, our finances, our health, our relationships, the laundry piling up, what to wear etc. etc. etc. the more fatigued our stress hormones become. These same stress hormones that were created in us to get us mobile in cases of emergency, now begin to work against us, leaving us depressed, anxious or angry.
My short answer to worry and fear is to practice daily mindfulness. Stay focused on what you can do today. Make the most of the 86,400 seconds you have available right here, right now. That means essentially two things. One, decide what is important, what your priorities and responsibilities are for today and make them happen. Two, while you are doing what you need to do today, take time to notice what you enjoy about it. Be mindful to really live and enjoy the present moments. When we live in the beauty and wonder of what God has provided for us today, worry and fear subsides causing our bodies to de-stress naturally.
Jesus said it this way, 'Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about it's own things'.
I hope you enjoy your day!
Back to elaineolson.org
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